Essenceamelia's Blog

Brand Spankin’ New!

essenceamelia — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:16:25 +0000

I’ve been 25 for a month and 5 days here’s some things I learned: 1.

I’m tired of talking about men – too much time and energy and effort goes into talking about men. Tired of the stories: Why won’t he do this? Should I do this/that? Why do I keep thinking of him? Is he thinking about me? I’m so sick of the whole thing, truthfully. There’s only one man in my life that’s worth telling everyone about and I want to talk about Him everywhere I go. How often do you think of Him? I don’t talk about Him enough. Christ is all!
Did you know that happiness is a choice? Choose to be happy. It doesn’t mean that everything is well with me but I decide not to let it control my day. I don’t need to walk around like the world’s biggest victim. I was created for a purpose, which includes living, walking and breathing in joy.
It looks like my home vacation is over – I spent a lot of time at home this summer. Last year – this was not the case. I had my car and I was everywhere I wanted to be. This summer was a welcome change of pace. Admittedly, part of the madness was that I never wanted to be home… (long story). But now, I have my own space. I usually get no rest in the summers – but this time – I did. I’m glad I did. I feel energized. I’m not trying to keep up with anyone but myself – its called Essence Living for a reason. I’m the one living it! Hello!
I’ve started praying again. This is huge for me – I was on a several month hiatus – not being able to verbalize my prayers but I have no problem saying them now. I’m so glad that He’s been so patient with me.
I need to find a crew of more focused indiviuals – there are things I want to do and places I want to go. I need to surround myself with that. Jesus did – when He was on earth He got himself a crew of 12! Eagles don’t hang with chickens. So if you’re unhappy all the time, always complaining about something, never satisfied with anything, can’t find a reason to smile or praise, got some bad habits that you’re not trying to fix – to the left! Ugh – shakin’ you off! I want to be better and you can’t do that with negativity around you. Remember: Eagles don’t hang with chickens.

That’s all for now!

EA!

NYONYA – The Malaysian Food Experience

essenceamelia — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:09:56 +0000

I’m back… again… looks like I have a lot to say today.

I think I am at the beginning stages of being addicted to Nyonya Restaurant.

Roti Canai (Mmmmmm)

Firstly, if you’re not the adventurous type… then this restaurant isn’t for you. I absolutely love trying new foods. I love going somewhere and not knowing what to expect. I sit at the table and stare at the menu with such excitement – It’s amazing. Most time, the food hit’s the spot. And, there have been a few times where it completely missed the mark. Nyonya’s hit the spot!

NYONYA RESTAURANT
194 Grand Street
(Btwn: Mulberry St & Mott Street)
Subway Directions: B train to Grand Street or Q train to Canal Street

Nyonya is located in Little Italy. When I’m there…I don’t feel like I am in New York. I feel like I am in a movie about New York thinking “So this is the New York I see in the movies” – lol! There are many other restaurants in the area – all promising great food and a great experience but I had my heart set on Malaysian food.
Not too pricey – I had dinner with my sister-friend for under $25. They say we’re still in a recession.
The service was excellent – the wait staff was eager to accomodate. One thing I strongly dislike when going out is when the wait person doesn’t come back and check on you. The food could be awesome, but if you don’t come back and check to see if my drink needs refilling – The restaurant loses cool points. I had several people wait on me at Nyonya – it was a great experience.

Recommendations:

The Roti Canai (curry with chicken and potatoes served with Indian bread) is the only way to start things off – Trust me – anything else would be a disservice.
Lychee Drink – Don’t judge a drink by it’s look! LOL! You’ll be pleasantly surprised. It’s a clear drink with the actual lychee fruit in the glass. The drink comes with a spoon – so when you’re done drinking – dig in. The lychee fruit is sweet! Yummy!
Opt for the sticky rice – it’s made with jasmine – smells and tastes awesome!

As I continue to frequent this restaurant, making my way down and trying the entire menu (LOL – Yes… I am quite serious), updates are sure to follow!

Don’t knock it till you try it!

EA!

Not Your Buddy

essenceamelia — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:48:23 +0000

Hey! I’m back!

So… I was thinking… living life isn’t all about going out to eat and going and doing fun things. There are so many other things that come up – that are a part of living life – that are equally as important. So Essence Lives Life is going to offer clean fun and sound advice.

I found an article about a situation that seems to be becoming an epidemic among single Christian ladies. Sadly, I too have been in this situation before and it’s not something I would wish for anyone.

This article enlightened me – so I’m sharing it! Hope it enlightens you too! Are you a “Buddy Girl?”

(It’s kind of long but we need to read more anyway!)

Not Your Buddy
by Suzanne Hadley

The other day I was having lunch with a friend and she began to pour out an all-too-familiar story. The guy she’d been hanging out with four nights a week, the one who’d made her a jazz mix CD and asked her to be his date to his office Christmas party, the one who’d gone to late-night movies with her and made her pasta — that guy — had crushed her hopes (again) with a single, nonchalant statement: “I don’t see myself in a relationship anytime soon.”

I tried to reassure my friend that the guy probably thought she was beautiful and fabulous and smart but had just made a choice to be single for now.

“But we have such a great connection,” she moaned. “We’re such good friends!”

I felt anger well up. This was not the first time I’d heard this story. I could count nearly half a dozen friends who found themselves in this same frustrating situation. After investing months in late night talks, meals together and flirty e-mails, each woman faced the sad reality that the guy actually wasn’t planning to upgrade their friendship to, well, marriage.

It’s Not Our Fault!
I decided to discuss this trend with a few of my guy friends. I specifically targeted Brad, whose boyish good looks and abundance of charm had lured in more than one hopeful woman and gained him a reputation as a heartbreaker.

“Do you think it’s wrong for a guy to initiate one-on-one time with a woman when he has no intentions with her?” I asked.

My friend paused, savoring the question. “I think,” he said, “if a woman wants something to be there, she’s going to see something there.”

His buddies smirked knowingly.

“But don’t you think seeking her out and spending time with her encourages it?” I prodded.

“She’s the one who’s choosing to view that as special treatment,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s her interpretation.”

“Can you tell when a girl’s interested in you?”

“Usually.”

“Then why would you lead her on like that?”

“She’s free to say no anytime. Until then, I’ll assume she’s OK with it.”

By “OK,” I guessed he meant the girl could handle it emotionally.

His buddies slapped him on the back.

“That’s right,” one of them piped up. “Women are always going to read into something. If you catered to it, you’d have to give up female friends completely.”

Mutually Exclusive

In her book Relationships, former college professor Dr. Pamela Reeve discusses three levels of friendships: acquaintances, companions and intimate friends. Dr. Reeve observes that men and women cannot sustain an intimate friendship without one or the other harboring romantic expectations. She recommends that men and women avoid being intimate friends outside of courtship and marriage.

Companions, she says, generally spend less than two hours together a week. When a man indicates he would like to see the woman more than that, but claims they are “just friends,” he sends a mixed message.

Dr. Reeve writes: “One party can selfishly enjoy all the benefits of a relationship, the warmth and relief from loneliness, the satisfaction of the attention that feeds the ego — all without the accompanying commitment. One party luxuriates, while the other party feels cheated and is left with deep unsatisfied longings.”

I’ve recently observed several non-dating relationships that seem to fall into the “intimate friends” category. In every case, it is the woman who is paying the price emotionally. Why? When a guy starts investing his heart, he can do something about it by making a move. And if the girl rejects him, the friendship ends or changes significantly. A woman, however, can hang on in this kind of relationship indefinitely, hoping the guy will eventually share her feelings. She makes herself available to him as a “friend,” all the while hoping the friendship will blossom into something more.

Unfortunately, even if the guy senses the woman’s interest, like my friend Brad, he has not made a direct offer to her and therefore feels no obligation to clear up the matter. Maybe we could chalk that up to communication differences between men and women: a man may be oblivious to unspoken signs that he has been placed in the “future husband” category. What he may be viewing as an innocent dinner, she sees as an indication that the friendship is developing into more. But men should assume that if a woman is spending a lot of time with him, she is interested and she is investing her emotions. (I suspect men realize this more often than they’ll admit, but hold onto these ego-boosting relationships anyway.)

Women, on the other hand, need to assume less. A woman should not assume that a guy friend she’s spending time with is: a) just too shy to make a move; b) thinking she’s the woman of his dreams but the timing isn’t right; c) in denial of God’s will that they be together.
We get it. A woman loves to read into a guy’s every action. That’s her relational crime. But the guy does her a disservice by allowing her to be his “buddy girl” — a female friend who provides the relational benefits without the commitment.

Single men and women are failing each other. Uncommitted intimate friendships may satiate immediate needs, but they lead to frustration and heartache. Not to mention, for singles ready for marriage, these “friendships” waste time and energy.

Stepping Back

Men and women who find themselves in a dead-end friendship, should take responsibility. A woman is responsible to be wise with her heart. Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Prov. 4:23). If a woman feels her heart longing for a man who’s not pursuing her, indulging those feelings is unwise.

Song of Songs puts it this way, “Do not awaken love before it so desires.” As a generation of women drunk on chick flicks, we want romance to happen so badly we allow ourselves to fantasize about relationships that have no founding.

Just as a woman should take measures to guard her heart in relationships, a guy should seek to protect the emotions of his female friends. I have interacted with guys who are genuine and friendly without making me wonder if they want me to have their children. Like a good dance partner, the guy gently eases me to a place where I understand he considers me a friend only. We may engage in a meaningful friendship, but he does not give false signals by inviting me to dinner, e-mailing me daily or initiating extended time together. While these actions are fine if the guy is interested, they are misleading if he’s not.

Make Room for Romance

Ecclesiastes 3:8, “There is a time for love.” If, as a woman, you are indulging in an intimate friendship with a man who is not pursuing you, you are accepting a cheap imitation of love. And by spending all your time with a guy who will never put a ring on your finger, you may miss a potential suitor.

If, as a man, you are spending large quantities of time with a woman, you may want to consider if perhaps the relationship is deserving of an upgrade to an intentional relationship that explores the possibility of matrimony. If not, do your sister the courtesy of making your stance clear, freeing her to be pursued by another man.

Above all, if you find yourself in an intimate friendship with someone of the opposite sex, ask the Lord for wisdom and discernment. Describing the complexity of relationships, Dr. Reeve uses the words of a poster she once read:

Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing….It requires real maturity to get involved and not get all messed up.

“Never,” she concludes, “is this more true than in relationships between men and women.”
I couldn’t agree more with the good doctor. When it comes to male-female relationships, lacking intent, the buddy system is a bad idea.

Suzanne Hadley lives in Colorado Springs but loves returning to her native state of Washington to walk on the beach and see her nephews. Suzanne is the editor of Clubhouse Jr. magazine. In her spare time, she enjoys performing with her comedy improv troupe, having coffee with friends and blogging.

Essence Goes To The New York Spa Castle

essenceamelia — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:38:54 +0000

New York Spa Castle – College Point, NY
http://www.nyspacastle.com/eng/main/main.php
Cost: $35 weekdays/ $45 weekends

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESSENCE!

I recently celebrated my birthday! I am so excited – I look forward to getting older and the new experiences that await me. I look forward to growing into and becoming a better person. I can’t wait to see what this year has in store.

I never used to celebrate my birthday but this year I actually wanted to do something. I have to live by my own motto! So, my ladies took me to the New York Spa Castle.

Check out the website – it’s a lovely little place – tucked away in a residential neighborhood.

Here’s What to Expect:

You’ll check in and will receive a watch and a spa uniform (not to keep). The check in covers your entrance fee and holds your credit card information for other goodies like food, massages and beauty spa offerings (manicures, pedicures, facials etc.)
Your watch is your key for the day. It allows you to make purchases for the day and access into your lockers. For food/drink purchases, just scan and sign.
The Bade Pool is a popular attraction. There are water jet massage stations located all over the pool. Find one and enjoy! Did I mention that the pool is heated? No need to warm into the water – just go right in JCheck this link for more information: http://www.nyspacastle.com/eng/establish/establish04.php
The Heated Floor was particularly relaxing. The floor is split into two – there’s a heated floor and a cooled floor. After eating, we took a nap on the Heated Floor. I didn’t want to leave but I like resting on more firm surfaces.
A diverse crowd – that’s the beauty of living in New York City and I fully appreciate it!

ESSENCE Recommends:

Go during the week – you’ll save $10.
Go later in the day (if you don’t want too much of a crowd) – it wasn’t overly crowded during the day but it is much quieter at night. I, personally, don’t like to be around too many people – I stayed until 11pm and found the evening to be more preferable.
Bring your own towel – There’s a rental fee for towels. We’re in a recession. Or are we? I’m not saying that anything is wrong with the towels at the location but I did notice that the regulars brought their own towels.
Take a chance and get in a sauna – don’t worry about your hair do. Some of the sauna’s there were heated over 150 degrees. I got in – but it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t think happy thoughts in there. I found one heated to 104 degrees. Sweat carries toxins out of the body – Let’s just say I’m purified!

Overall experience: 3.5/5 stars

If there’s anything I left out – let me know.

I’ll get better at this over time.

EssenceAmelia

Let’s Test This Out

essenceamelia — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:28:21 +0000

Hello World Wide Web!!!!

What am I doing here? LOL!

So, this is my first entry and I am really excited!

This weekend a friend of mine gave me the idea to this. It seems that I am always up to something fun – so why not share it with the masses.

A few things about me:

I love food
I love to try new things
Did I mention that I love food?

If you’re looking for fun things to do, places to go, places to eat – It wouldn’t hurt to stop on by for a sneak preview of what to expect. Right now, I’d only be able to give you the 411, from my viewpoint, in New York City but I love to travel. Who knows? Essence might take on Wisconsin! LOL!

If you’ve always wanted to try something but are a bit hesitant – tell me about it – and I’ll try it! Seriously.

That’s all for now!

I’ll be seeing you real soon